>>3872224It's a very long and complicated story but when I grew older I was very confused in a lot of different ways regarding sexuality and gender so I naturally gravitated towards the idea of being a faggot, so that began the initial appeal of cute boys, I just liked the boys in a lot of regards, whether they're masculine or feminine, I guess there's just a lot to appreciate, like how they can be cute with their own boyish charm, very feminine or masculine.
I guess I just enjoy the male physique and find boys cute in a lot of regards, the way their flat chests look on clothes, the wider shoulders of an older boy, an athletic one versus a nerdy one, I wish more of the world appreciated how beautiful and cute men can be.
Then as I got older I started going through twink death and began hating how my body was turning from a cute boy to a more ugly masculine man and it made me feel like a massive school shooter incel loser with a probably soon to begin receding hairline, greasy fucked up face and pathetic facial hair that wasn't thick enough to look good.
So I decided to try dabbling in tranny stuff to see how I'd feel about myself afterwards and it did help a lot with making me enjoy my body more I tried experimenting with my sexuality again with women to see how that'd go, and while I did enjoy the physically effects, I looked back on that era as a young teen when I was a cute effeminate faggot and sort of missed it in a lot of ways, the crossdressing, flirting with other boys, being a fundanshi etc.
And thus I realized I didn't really want to be the other gender but just wanted to be a feminine twink forever and returned back to gay fundanshi /cm/ ways, all coming full circle.