You have to look. True, the chances are unfortunately fantastic you'll never find her, but the only thing that could truly drive me to kill myself out of grief would be the knowledge that that happened -and I never looked-
Now the thing is, the way nature works, she's supposed to be the one looking... and women in general -aren't-. they're wrongly taught that that's our job. Our job is to look awesome, and be looked for, sought after, and then found.
But whatever, we're all improvising at this game. The important thing is you know exactly what you're looking for AND it's sane and correct, so you know you'll be happy if you get it, and recognize it when you see it. That's more than my dad ever got. I've never seen a life more full of pain and unfulfillment, but at least he had some good kids.