This seems like a series of a thousand or so if-then responses. If I program something like, and this will be incorrect but you'll get it:
if input=some_derivative in response_dictionary:
reply corresponding_response of input in response_dictionary
else some_derivative not in response_dictionary:
response_bank[input]
reply randomized_element(response_if_dont_know)

Have I successfully programmed an intelligence? AI gf here I come.