>>10984781>I haven't understood anything past multiplication tablesThat's literally all you need. Play around with basic functions and equations. Add exponents to stuff. Divide something by something else. Draw a graph of a function. Fill the area under it in with triangles and squares. See what happens if you add a small thing to another small thing infinitely.

Stop thinking about mathematics as serious stuff and have fun. Life is about being happy even in adverse situations, not about getting stressed out or suffering