>>4607202and once you spot the details, you fucking mirror that shit straight to paper
you make notes, no clean fucking sketchbook
you tear paper out of it, you do whatever you can to make sense of it all in the most logical way you can
Then when you make a piece of work, your brain is fucking tired as shit. It'll try to stop you, but it'll be so fucking fatigued by the end of the first week where it did not get a single fucking chance to rest.
Thats when you strike, you paint something, anything. finish something, go for a jog, lift weights, whatever the fuck you have ever wanted to do that has any fabricated meaning in your life and you fucking do it.
And then your brain has no other reason, nothing can stop it from releasing it's endorphins (not endomorphines, typo)
It will feel good but also strange. It's like you commanded to feel good doing something you wanted to do.
It may feel like a hollow victory, like a cheat, or a trick but make no mistake; it fucking is. But only in the sense of your brain. Your brain (again) is a fucking asshole that has no idea what it's doing besides wanting to just lay down and die.
Fuck that buddy, we're going to feel good on my terms. Slowly the brain will be retaught, it may take months, but the hollow victories will turn into actual victories.
This is quite literally how the korean/asian factory worker culture works. Parents fucking train their child extensively from birth to get endorphines from working. Their parents are teaching their children to be masochists. They commit suicide, they fucking hate life, but only once you have walked both sides can you truly find enlightenment in the fact that life really just genuinely fucking sucks and it's great.
