>>97641280>>97641289>>97641292I decided to stop being crazy. My mom's side of the family, and my mom herself, have bipolar disorder, and I grew up in a sexually abusive household where I was treated as garbage because I had a penis. I still remember my mom getting my younger sister condoms when she was fourteen, whereas I was getting hit if I walked a girl to her house.
As for what I have, I tried going to therapists, but they all talked more about their problems than listening to mine. I give off an aura of comfort, I guess. In the Air Force, I was put in charge of the ones being discharged for being crazy because of it. I've had to talk people out of suicide, or walked in on people who killed themselves.
Point is, I could be crazy, but I choose not to be. I have an extreme fear of vulnerability, though, so I don't have any friends, nor have I ever kissed a girl or been on a date. I could probably get over those if I was willing to let myself be hurt, but after 20+ years of nothing but emotional abuse getting laid isn't worth the risk. Plus, it's not like I can just tell a girl, "Hey, you scare the shit out of me, would you mind taking it super-slow with me? We could probably hold hands after three months of dating!" since she'd just move on to the next hunk of beef that rolls up beside her.
I just choose to not be crazy.
