It really is brilliant, after 20 years of Cartman being a selfish, spoiled, egotistical, delusional, idiotic, nasty, disgusting, spiteful, racist, downright hateful and vindictive piece of garbage, who is willing to become the new Hitler, lead a boy's parents to slaughter so he can feed them to him, and kill his own mother ..... he's finally been fucked. I mean, how do you fuck over someone that purely offensive and evil?
You get them a girlfriend.
It's fucking brilliant. His world no longer revolves around himself. He has to go out with HER. He has to wait for HER. His plans revolve around HER. He can't go be The Coon, he can't formulate a plan to get rid of a witch, he has to think about her first.
And the best part of it is, he can't get out! Either Heidi breaks up with him and he's a total wreck, or he breaks up with her, which he already tried to do, his warped ego even framing it as if she was emotionally abuse, and he still couldn't get out. He was such a wreck anyway that he desperately begged her to take him back, just so he could be miserable all over again. Brilliant!
Mates, if you know a complete asshole, just a deluded piece of shit who thinks everyone loves them despite what a bitch and a bastard they are, get them a girlfriend pronto. Doesn't matter who, as long as they're into it. They will crumble and they will fall.