Huey: Are you okay, Uncle Donald?
Dewey: Yeah. Gearloose says you might be insane now and-
Donald: (chuckles) Are you kidding? ...okay, I'm just turning 16 and having a birthday pool party. My uncle invites every girl he knows, and I'm not talking about girls my age. No, not Scrooge. He invites Playboy Bunnies and models and, I think, actual whores - you know, real prostitutes. So there I am in my giant bathing suit with nervous puberty oozing out of my molting feathers. Just, just awful. So, the band suddenly stops playing and I hear "And now the fowl of the hour, Donald Duck!" All eyes on me, right? Then suddenly, almost predictably, Ludwig Von Drake shoots my groin with a shrink ray right as that fucking jackass Emily Quackfaster pulls my shorts down.
Louie: Wow. That's...that's like a nightmare.
Donald: Oh, no! No! What I went through today was "like a nightmare." What happened when I was 16, that...is my life!