>be me
>meet beautiful giant woman
>apparently a thing with another chick she lives with
>open relationship, "fusing" with all three occasionally, but specifically with this one chick
>fucking damnit
>she's still super awesome and is the only person who listens to my music
>hang out with her some because boring-ass town
>sometimes the others hang with us too, and they're mostly cool besides the other chick
>reminds me CONSTANTLY that I'm not actually "with" her and that they have a connection I can NEVER know
>bitch go fuck yourself
>bird-lookin' bitch
>anyway
>one day me and giant woman alone together
>find out apparently she ISNT with the other chick?
>other chick is just really thirsty and they have to hang out because they're both aliens or from the same sorority or whatever
>other chick was just hanging with us to try and break us up
>I dig dude
>pop the question to her, she's down
>we hook up
>we get into a long term relationship
>pretty serious
>she starts talking to me about having a kid
>no idea if it's even possible
>spoiler alert, it is, but apparently she is gonna permanently die by doing it
>we're both okay with that happening because holy fuck do I love this chick
>we have the kid and she vanishes
>MFW he's the greatest kid in the world
>MFW the girls she used to hang out with agree to help raise him because he's an alien too
>MFW that includes bitch mcsalty by default and she can't say no without losing face
>MFW I realize I broke up not one, but THREE serious relationships that apparently have lasted thousands of years
>My fucking face when I realize that a). I broke up bitchy chick and the mother of my child forever, achieving a base she now will never have with her, b). she will never see the apparent love of her life again as a direct result of our love and my seven-inch cock, and c.) now she has to help raise our kid or be ostracized by her friends forever
For your consideration.
