>>90348636Nigga are you me? I feel like walking in front of a train because I failed out of college and have to see if I can get my dumb ass readmitted. Waiting until after next summer to see if the university will take more of my money and I'm just doing nigger work for cash right now.
I think I may have been pressured into going to uni before I was ready by my Dad, who was just tickled pink to be a Trucker who barely made it though high school and have a son who's going on to higher education. But that's probably just me being a loser and shifting blame.
As for your outlook on life, if you can't keep going for yourself, do it for the people who love you. And yes no matter how much of a fuck up you are, there are people who love you, and seeing you do something as horrible as suicide will be brutal on them. Every time I think about how I can make all the pain and anger go away in a second, I think about what it would do to my Father, my sister, my grandparents, and my niece and nephew. I was abandoned by my Mother, so i know how it feels to be thrown away by someone you loved, and someone who should have loved you in turn. I'll never do that to them, no matter how much it hurts, no matter how tempting it is, I'll never be that weak.
You're stronger then your demons anon, you just have to keep swinging.
