It's time again for Spider-man. Tonight's episode features Spider-man matching wits against the villainous master of magnetism, Magneto. No, not that Magneto. The OTHER Magneto.
RobbieRotten
Saturday Night Storytimer
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It was a dark and stormy night it's always a dark and storm night but this time there's a boat involved!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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What a storm! Temping as a boat life guard is hard work, but I have to earn the money to see a doctor about this hump somehow
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Spider-man: Will the boat make it? Can't save a boat unless it's sinking first. Dats da rules.
Saturday Night Storytimer
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The science hall of fame has once again failed to elect me scientist of the year! They didn't even nominate me this time! Not even for a science razzie! The judges, the Insane Clown Posse never understood! They couldn't!
Saturday Night Storytimer
So now the whole world must know what power the great Doctor Magneto wields! And they must know that it's pronounced Mag-net-oh not Mag-neat-o! The latter form is stupid there's no second A in the name why would anything say it like that!
Anonymous
Saturday Night Storytimer
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The start of my revenge on the Science Hall of Fame begins with that boat and I'll start THAT revenge by attacking the light house! With magnetism!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Whalloping websnappers! The lighthouse went dark! Now it's just a house!
>>89659779 >>89660048 This is gonna get real dumb real fast
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Come on Lighthouse! Don't give up on us now! We're all counting on you!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Anonymous
>>89660024 I'm assuming this guy is a poorly disguised Magneto who uses a prop gun to throw people off.
Saturday Night Storytimer
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COME ON! COME ON! LIGHT HOUSE CHANGE GEARS OR WE'LL BE WATCHING A BAND PLAY ITSELF DOWN TO DAVY JONES'S LOCKER
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Have you tried pushing? And pull with your wrist! Proper form's important!
Agent Om
>>89660181 No, he's somebody else entirely, but he is dashingly handsome.
Saturday Night Storytimer
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I'VE TRIED EVERYTHING SPIDER-MAN! IT WON'T WORK! NOTHING WORKS! I TRIED YELLING AT IT, I TRIED GIVING UP AND HOPING MY PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVENESS WOULD MAKE IT FEEL BAD AND FIX ITSELF, AND I TRIED ASKING THE EXPERTS AT YAHOO ANSWERS BECAUSE THEY'VE NEVER LED ME WRONG BEFORE! ENF! EEENNNFRHHH! IT'S TOO HARD I HATE EVERYTHING.
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Don't be a pussy let me show you how it's done. EUGHHHHHH NO. IT'S NOT DOING ANYTHING IT'S HOPELESS
Saturday Night Storytimer
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I concur. It is hopeless. Everything's stuck. We've proven the saying "Many hands make light work" false.
Anonymous
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>>89660250 Well, real or not, I think we can all agree that that is one bitchin' stach.
Saturday Night Storytimer
Hold up I have a spare light from my patented Spider-man utility belt! It'll work! It has to!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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All the lumens must work together to save the day.
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Spider-man: Come on guys! Head directly towards the blinding light! You can make it!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Jameson: Listen to this! Spider-man saves the freighter! As if a seasoned Captain couldn't guide a ship in by himself! I bet Spider-man probably put those dangerous rocks in the water, just for fun!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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>Rocks in the water? Damn! Why didn't I think of that.
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Magnetism?! Rubbish! There isn't that much concentrated magnetism in the whole world! And the jury is still out on whether magnetism even exists! It may all be a hoax!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Betty: We both saw that magnetism Documentary last night. Peter! Correct him!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Um so Mr. Jameson are we not going to run the Spider-man and the boat story? Doesn't your code of journalism force you to cover the story?
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Oh WE'LL RUN THE STORY ALRIGHT! ON THE BACK PAGE! AND POSSIBLY IN A DINGBAT FONT!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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What the fuck is this shit? It's on the back page?! And they didn't even mention magnetism!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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All the mention is Spider-man! Like he's capable of plans a quarter as genius as mine!
Anonymous
Opening this thread and saving it for later reading
Saturday Night Storytimer
You! At the computer! Yes you! Get your hand out of your pants and be honest! Don't I deserve to be famous? To be known not just for my good looks but for my awesome talents?! Can't I at least have that? The kids, they must believe, they must believe in magnetism. You believe in Magnets and can explain how they work, right? RIGHT?
Saturday Night Storytimer
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I'll just have think bigger. Better! Give people a demonstration of magnetism they won't forget no matter how hard they try! That'll make me famous!
Anonymous
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>>89660760 I was actually scratching my balls when I read this. Fuck you for freaking me put OP Saturday Night Storytimer
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WOOOO go yankees!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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No security? Man, no one cares about baseball any more. Peeeeeerfeeect. You never value what you've lost until it's gone.
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Fun Fact: Magnets CAN melt steel beams if you put your mind to it.
>>89660747 Thats a good way to do it. Put it on autoupdate and tab out
Saturday Night Storytimer
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Yes! Yes! Try ignoring THAT act of unspeakable horror! There's no way they can ignore my genius and put that on the back page now!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Can't wait to buy tomorrow's newspaper! But first! To make some celebratory cupcakes! Vanilla cupcakes with strawberry frosting and a dab of lemon curd!
Anonymous
Wouldn't it be better to steam it and let chat make the memes?
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Not a single pop fly to catch and force them to sign. I should root for a better team.
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Either my eyes are playing tricks on me or the tracks are broken. I'll double check to be sure.
Saturday Night Storytimer
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They are broken! How could that happen? Termites?!
>>89661036 It's been done. You can only fit some memes in a 10 minute episode
Saturday Night Storytimer
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Don't have any duct tape to fix the tracks but some webbing should do in a pinch
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Oh yeah there's a train coming at high speed and I'm standing right in front of it.
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Time to get some pictures! JJ's going to need proof
Saturday Night Storytimer
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I don't need proof that the tracks got wrecked! I need proof that Spider-man wrecked and then fixed the tracks! Where's those pictures?!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Um so are we not printing that Spider-man saved anyone or what? It's hard to make out what you want
Saturday Night Storytimer
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I DIDN'T PAY FOR THIS PICTURE NOT TO USE IT, MISS BRANT. WE'LL PRINT IT AND IT'S GOING IN THE SPORTS SECTION
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Magneto: Spiderman nearly causes calamity.
Saturday Night Storytimer
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AGAIN WITH THE SPIDERMAN IT'S ALWAYS SPIDERMAN! SPIDERMAN SPIDERMAN SPIDERMAN! AND THE STORY PRINTED HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE PICTURE AND LOOKS TO BE PARTIALLY IN RUSSIAN! I AM SO FUCKING MAD RIGHT NOW
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Calm yourself. Breath in. Breath out. Don't let him get to you. Maybe you're going over everyone's heads. Remember your rivalry with Doctor Chuckie Zavior (sucks what happened to his arms) and how you can't let him and his team of harpies the ex-men get all the glory. Maybe you're being too subtle about this. Think Magneto think!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Maybe I should communicate in a way he'll best understand
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Dear J. Jonah Jameson, I, the great Magneto, am responsible for almost wrecking the boat and the train...
Anonymous
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>>89660181 >"This time it is YOU who are the one tricked by a wooden prop! Revenge is sweet!" Saturday Night Storytimer
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... by the time you receive this letter the maassive, broncse statute of Promethius at Rockefella center will b magneticed and flown I mean lifted to the top of the Umpire State Building! >For fucks sake why does no one who writes letters to the editor use a goddamn dictionary
Saturday Night Storytimer
Saturday Night Storytimer
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"At xactlee noon I will demagnit it nd send it crshing to teh stret bellow,
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Oh no! Prometheus is going to commit suicide by jumping from the Empire State Building? The horror!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Magneto... Magneto... that name sounds familiar. It rings a bell... I swear I've heard it before but I can't remember... something to do with purple? Fashion designer? Naaah.
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Magneto! Bah! Never heard of him! Why do all these nobodies write me and expect me to care about their problems?!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Jameson: Hold on I need to take this call. WHAT. A bronzed person on top of the empire state building?! And he's not wearing any shoes! This is serious!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Jameson: MISS BRANT! YOU'RE WEARING TOO MUCH LIPSTICK! FIX IT.
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Jameson: PARKER! YOU'RE NOT WEARING ENOUGH LIPSTICK. FIX IT AND GET TO THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING AND GET ME SOME PICTURES
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Time for you to get a new watch, Mr. Jameson!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Is that madman Magneto really going to do it? I've only got ... 1... 2...3 minutes? WHY CAN'T THIS CITY GO DIGITAL
Saturday Night Storytimer
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Time to take a dive, Prometheus!
Saturday Night Storytimer
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Oh my god he's coming down! Yeah, he's my God, and he could be yours too if you want him to be.
Saturday Night Storytimer
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I gotcha buddy. Anyone who steals fire and gives it to men is A-OK in my book!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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And now you're being supported by your impressive dick. That's one thing to check off the bucket list.
Saturday Night Storytimer
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WHAT? NO. HE STOPPED IT. ALL I WANT IS MY NAME AND STORY IN THE FRONT PAGE IN THE PAPER AND BE GIVEN AN AWARD ONLY NERDS CARE ABOUT IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?
Anonymous
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>>89660366 >not turning into seaman semen porn baka
Saturday Night Storytimer
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SOMEDAY I'LL HAVE REVENGE. JUST YOU WAIT. BUT FIRST I'LL HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT
Saturday Night Storytimer
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M... M for Magneto. I know I've seen or heard or that name at least once in my life.
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Love checking this book! I love how Hank Pym isn't even considered a scientist after all the shit he's pulled over the years.
Saturday Night Storytimer
There's Magneto! First name Matto? His parents must have hated the shit out of him. Speciality in Magnetism? Hmmmmmmmmm Science Hall of Fame HMMMMM
Saturday Night Storytimer
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And why was he given a full page for a footnote's worth of information? Better check out the science hall of fame to get the dirt on this guy!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Spider-sense is vibrating! That means there's a clue nearby!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Hey! Anyone here know a guy named Magneto? Wears a suit and what appears to be his mom's pink tablecloth as a cape?
Saturday Night Storytimer
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WHAT'S HAPPENING MY BODY'S MOVING ON ITS OWN
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Wahahaha! Kill you Spider-chicken with one magnetic pull of my power!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Dude you only knocked me down 10 feet. You're not even special! You're just a guy in a suit!
Saturday Night Storytimer
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Ack ack ack! Now I know what it feels like to be literally everyone I fight! Gross! It's all damp!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Surprised? You should be! This gun doesn't just magnetize metal! It can also magnetize wood! Paper! Cloth! Flesh! Anything! So don't even think of pulling a wooden gun on me cause it ain't gonna work!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Sir, did you ever consider the fact that what you said makes no sense? And you call yourself a scientist!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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IT MAKES SENSE AND I AM TOO A SCIENTIST. I COULD EXPLAIN IT TO YOU BUT YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND IT NOBODY UNDERSTANDS
Saturday Night Storytimer
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MAYBE THE SCIENTISTS ARE ALL VISUAL LEARNERS. I'LL JUST GIVE THEM A DEMONSTRATION AND THEY'LL BE HAPPY AND GIVE ME AN AWARD AND A CAKE AND A NICE HAT AND A PAT ON THE BACK
Saturday Night Storytimer
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so like, what? Don't keep me in suspense.
Saturday Night Storytimer
It's a surprise! For me to know and for you to find out!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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HEY! What did I just tell you, bro? I hate surprises and don't like being kept in suspense!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Magneto: You think you can escape my magnetic powers over there? Magnetism is everywhere and within all of us, all around you, flowing and ebbing.
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Magneto: And now! I demagnetized you from the Earth! It's not gravity keeping you grounded! It's magnetism! And how do you like being held suspended?
Saturday Night Storytimer
But wait! There's more I can do than just reverse magnetism!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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AHHHHH WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME NOW?
Saturday Night Storytimer
Oh just magnetized your skin to be attracted to the metal with the friction acting so hard it's creating static electricity! Amazing what a creative mind can do isn't it? You're stuck to that fence, forever.
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Magneto: Actually let's change that to make you surrounded by bars rather than just stuck to it. Yeah that's better!
Saturday Night Storytimer
No! I can do better than that! I'll suspend the entire Science Hall of Fame over the ocean! With Magnetism! And then I'll drop it under the water!
Saturday Night Storytimer
And then you'll be underwater with the building FOREVER
Saturday Night Storytimer
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You sure about that? I'm a pretty good swimmer if I do say so myself.
Agent Om
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>>89662855 >>89662984 >>89663070 >>89663119 >>89663149 Are we sure that Magneto isn't just Karl Marx upset over the fall of the Soviet Union?
Anonymous
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>>89662037 Huh, this must have been risque at the time. I wonder if angry parents wrote the network.
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Damnit! Damnit! Damnit! WHY DIDN'T I CONSIDER THAT PEOPLE MIGHT TRY AND STOP ME.
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Anyone ever tell you that you look kind of like a British Mark Twain? Cause you look kind of like him but with horrible, horrible teeth.
Anonymous
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>>89662427 With a name like that your only options are becoming a magnetism scientist or a super-villain, Magneto did both.
Anonymous
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>>89659748 Captivated bump
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Ha ha! Yeah! I do get that a lot! And you! Faceless person 89663272! You're wrong! I ALSO sell refrigerator magnets on the side!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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You know, I've fought against weirdos with inexplicable control over things before and you ain't anything special. Fun's over.
Anonymous
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>>89662637 "Fucking magnets, how do they work!?"
—Writers of Spider-Man TAS, 1965
Saturday Night Storytimer
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WHAT. HOW. HOW DID YOU NULLIFY MY MAGNETISM. MY POWERS... GONE!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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I'll tell you! But first I must shimmy and shake myself free from this... whatever it is. I was feeling like I was in a Salvador Dali painting for a bit.
Saturday Night Storytimer
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HOW. HOW DID HE DEFEAT MY MAGNETISM. IS HE A MASTER OF MAGNET TOO?
Saturday Night Storytimer
Nope! Just came prepared! Why you were running your jaw I switched my regular webbing to my special anti-magnetic webbing! You see, I came prepared!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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You... you can do that? My magnetism... gone... forever...
Anonymous
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>>89663451 W-wait... didn't he say that he could magnetize even non-magnetic material? This is breaking my immersion.
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Spider-man: And you're also grounded!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Magneto: No! This is bullshit! You can't ground Magneto! You cheated! You cheated!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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I hate you magneto, I hate everything about you, your stupid gun, your uncombed hair, your unkempt mustache, your rotten teeth, your outdated fashion sense. You're going to sit here. You're going to sit here and I'm going to get a bunch of ugly children to come laugh at you.
Saturday Night Storytimer
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And I wrote a poem for you!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Magneto: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please don't do this I'm sorry!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Spider-man: This poem's pretty good... I'm going to leave it here. Just think that all of this could have been avoided if you'd used your bullshit for good and not evil.
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Jameson: OF COURSE WE'RE PRINTING THE STORY OF MAGNETO GETTING CAPTURED BY SPIDER-MAN BUT NOT ON THE FRONT PAGE!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Well, SOMEONE needs to compliment my perfume
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Jameson: Back page? NO. People look at that sometimes! Op/ED? NO. Sports? NO Classified? NO
Saturday Night Storytimer
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Jameson: That sounds great! I'm glad I thought of that! That'll keep Spider-man from looking in my window!
Saturday Night Storytimer
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And that's all for this week. Hope you all enjoyed cause I'll be back next saturday for more. Next week's episode is Jameson lobbying the US government to give a foreign country a loan for some reason.
Anonymous
hey can you chuck a link to the archive
Saturday Night Storytimer
>>89664085 I keep forgetting to update this. I get a little burned out after doing these threads I just take it easy the rest of the night.
http://pastebin.com/86qedmQu http://pastebin.com/tjREijhZ Making this stuff up on the spot is somewhat taxing.
Anonymous
mate your a fucking top cobber cheers
Saturday Night Storytimer
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>>89664085 But just for you I updated Spider-man to current.
>>89664306 I'm going to enjoy doing return of the most Australian man alive episode where he goes to Florida
Anonymous
Anonymous
>>89664152 Thanks for this brofessor
Saturday Night Storytimer
Anonymous
Anonymous
truteal !hlnuDLeBD2
Anonymous
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>>89659748 >Other magneto You have my attention.
Anonymous
