>>119258867For 23 unintterupted minutes, Asterix and Obelix take turns raping the corpse of Willy van der Steen.
Alternatively - IDK, it's the pilot, so probably keep it simple. Everything's dope in Gallica, then Romans show up and say "fuck you Caesaer owns you now". While the village people are either freaking out or trying to posture against a professional fighting force, Asterix and Obelix have to help Getafix (I think that was his name in the English version, right?) gather the ingredients for his magic potion (let's say he's still got some petroleum so they don't have to go all the way to fuckin' Egypt like that one time, and also so we can save that plot for later). Hijinks predictably ensue, with Asterix as always playing straight man to Obelix, who gets distracted by boar, would rather fight all the Romans one on one, or gets touchy and childish when called out on any of those things. Hijinks having ensued, they get the potion, they drink up, they kick Roman ass, big dramatic proclamation about how their village will never fall to a bunch of smelly Italians, etc. Then the feast, with Cacophonix getting shitcanned for bad singing, etc. Probably take the opportunity to head off the definitely incoming racism accusations at the pass by showing some black slave soldiers turning on their Roman masters and minorly aiding the Gauls in acquiring victory, getting a handshake from Asterix, then being told to fuck off back to Africa or something. Actually, it'd be funny if one of them stayed to study under Cacophonix, but instead of terrible lyre (is that what that is? No idea) it's terrible rap. Funny, and it would shut up the SJWs.
Then, next episode, you guessed it: Willy van der Steen gets raped!
