"Because you need me, Springfield. Your guilty conscience may cause you to vote Democratic, but inside, you secretly long for a cold-hearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king! That's why I did this. To protect you from yourselves! Now if you'll excuse me, I have a city to run..."

"Bailiffs, place the mayor under arrest."

"What? Oh yes, all that stuff I did."