> Welcome, everyone, to Sterling Robotics! Prodigies, veterans, the newly graduated, you’re here because we want the best, and you are it. So, who wants to design some robots? Now, you’ve already met each other during orientation, so allow me to introduce myself. I’m John Sterling! I own the place. One thing you should know about me, I’m a very boots-on-the-ground man. I always make sure to keep an eye on which design proposals are accepted or denied. I also like to talk, so expect to hear one, two, or three of my audio memos throughout the day. This could be ranging from upcoming news, simple reminders from the employee handbook, or just me dishing out righteous indignation.
> ((mechanical wheezing can be heard in the background)) Sterling here. I’ve decided to shut down the “A.I. Humor” Extended Research project. It’s not because we’re not getting anywhere; it’s the exact opposite. Should be safe for our products to develop a sense of humor on its own, but tell it to commence synthesis on all comedians living and dead, and combine that with the inherent perfectionism of A.I., and the results are jokes that are so funny that, if I DIDN’T shut it down, this entire company would literally die laughing overnight. I just got back from testing, and you know how close I got? I’m in an iron lung! That makes the answer to be, “Too damn close!”
> > Sterling again. Hey, I said cancel that humor project! If humans ever get that good at stand-up, it’ll just be a bioweapon waiting to happen. When the Extra-Terrestrials finally stop beating around the bush and come to Earth, only to find us gone, and they figure out it’s because we laughed all the way to extinction, it won’t be because of me. Let some other sucker have that privilege. Send the proposal to the
government; they can use that instead of pulling toenails, or whatever it is they do.
