>>111547084Once upon a time, bout 4 days back, me and Jim were deer hunting out by Coppage's old dairy that he ran dry for the government subsidies when Raegan was a thing. Anyway, we was out there, way the fuck back, and Jim thinks he hears this god damn hog rooting in the fucking brush. So he indians up on it, gets his gun up, and fires as he fucking trips cause he was probably half drunk. Sumbitch shot a sumbitchin racoon. And he yells out, "It's a sumbtichin' racoon!' I meandered over on over there and seen it. It was a sumbtichin' coon. Big motherfucker, like two house cats glued together side by side. He reaches on down and snatched it by the tail, it was dead as shit. And he flopped it belly up on a log.
Jim borrowed my knife cause sumbtich don't carry a knife, and he cuts out the fuckin' dick bone. He's standing there, coon dick in his hands and realized he ain't got a fucking jacket or vest or nothing. He looks at me and asks, "yawnna put this in yer pawkit?"
"Hell no", I said. And we figured that him shooting the fucking coon spooked the deer off, so we said fuck it and went on back to the house. Got to the truck, and he's just goofy as fuck standing there with a fucking coon dick in hand, so I put it in mypocket. We go on to the house, drink some coffee, bullshit, and after dark he goes on home. I toss my hunting vest in the dirty clothes basket and nexy morning all hell broke the fuck out.
"What the fuck's that!", jessica hallers out. I forgot the god damn coon dick.
Long story short - Jim hit a fucking doe on the way back, and picked up his dick dropping off some sausage.
Moral of the story is : offer to hold another man's dick, he'll share his sausage.
