>>111119813When I was a kid, maybe six or seven, I was convinced I was an Eryops. It's this weird prehistoric amphibian, pic related. It's not particularly cool or interesting, just a big, stupid toad-newt thing. I honestly can't articulate why I fixated on this particular creature.
Anyway, I believed I was going to transform into one of these creatures. I changed the way I slept so my tail wouldn't get stunted. I stayed in the bath as long as I was allowed. I tried to swallow my foot without chewing. I would practice "talking like an eryops" which I imagined was a honking croak sound. I didn't know how to tell my parents about this: I knew they wouldn't understand. I tried to drop hints, but they never took the bait.
Eventually I grew out of it.
Now, imagine a world where my parents heard me making my eryops noises in the bathtub and asked me if I felt like I was an eryops. I would say "yes" and they would smile and hug me and told me how proud they were of me, and went on twitter and posted pictures of me dressed up like an eryops while all their friends tell them what great parents they are. They would tell me they could take me to a doctor who could fix my body, to put me in the eryops body I was supposed to have.
Fucking clown world.
