OK. I'll tell ya.
You are the worst farmer I know. You constantly fuck and suck your best friend's wife. The man pays for your gucci loafers and rescued you from certain death, and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, you seed and feed all over his yard. And you're such a city slicker. You pay for nothing. You always say, "I'll feed you later," but later never comes. And what really bothers me is you pretend you're this sneed guy who loves seed for their feed when all you do is suck and fuck. Yeah. I suck and fuck women for their bodies, but at least I'm honest about it. I don't buy them a copy of Park Avenue Manicure and then lecture them with some seventh-grade interpretation of how Farmer #2 was some profound intellectual. He wasn't! He was a spoiled brat. And that's why you like him so much. He's you. God, you're pretentious! And you delude yourself by thinking you're some great farmer, even though you're terrible. You know, I should have known Sneed didn't feed me that seed. He would have known there's no "K" in the word "Tomacco. " And I think what I hate most about you is your textbook sneed agenda. How we should "legalize feed, man. " How big business is crushing the underclass farmers. How homelessness is the biggest tragedy in Springfield. Well, what have you done to help? I work down at the seed and feed, Chuck. Never seen you down there. You want to help? Grab a shovel! And by the way, driving a fancy German car doesn't make you Jesus Christ. Oh Wait! You don't believe in Jesus Christ or any religion, for that matter, because religion is for idiots! Well, who the hell are you to talk down to anyone? You failed farm school twice, which isn't formally as bad as your failure as a brothel owner. How's that suck of yours you never fuck? But you know what? I could forgive all of that, all of it, if you weren't such a bore. That's the worst of it, Chuck. You're just a big, sad, alcoholic bore! I'll see you, Chuck. Thanks for the fucking suck.
