By American standards, I'd say I'm a good father. Now this Greg fellow? He entrusts his child to a pack of butch lesbo bitches who fuck around. Then I gotta ask, just where the hell fatty goes to school? Running around like a wild animal, I imagine, isn't going to serve him well in the long run-I mean what's he going to do when he hits the wrong mineral and gets stared down by Big Oil's army of corporate lawyers? Exactly, NOTHING!
The fatfuck will get torn apart which is why, I, Ed Wuncler the I, have started a personal investigation into the Universe's personal funds which my lawyers are finding to be ill gotten if not outright stolen from the Wuncler industrial core. Greg is going to get slapped down by a civil suit so big it's going to be a miracle if he ever sees the outside of a cell again. And Steven? Officer Uncle Ruckus and the others have just surrounded the beach shack.
Don't worry about Steven's upbringing. The Wuncler Cradle Orphanium and Mental Hospital will gladly take care of him as he adjusts to a normal life.