Yeah. Not my parents (thank god) but a relative. And you do spend, like, decades of your life just putting up with their shit. You are tied to them. You could walk away, but everybody would have to walk away, or you'd have to walk away from everybody - because sooner or later the waterworks are going to start and someone will let them back in. And you'll spend decades not just dealing with their shit, but dealing with their fake-out apology (which they won't really understand why they have to make) and being the aggressor if they do it again and you get sick of them. "But they're trying!" and "can't you just let it go, they can't have many years left and their mind's shot" are the worst, because it's not even the asshole doing it. it's someone doing it on their behalf. To you. Because they don't get it.
But when you realize you've never seen that asshole sober and even the good times, you know, there were these crazy rants and arguments and shit going on over your head because *apparently* it's very important to argue with people until they're sick of your shit every time you see them... I see that in myself, I catch myself doing it and I don't know if it's genes or just how people are predisposed to be or conditioning or what. And I hate it, and I would completely go to the funeral and deliver the eulogy and tell off-color jokes and unflattering stories and yes, I would in fact still have to grieve for that asshole, even though the last thing they'll ever probably have said to me is "can you believe this, they're telling ME how to spend MY money!" like I really give a shit this many decades in.
The absolute worst part being, of course, we've all thought when we move away for the first time... maybe I could just be one of those people who calls once a year. Maybe I could leave them all behind, and all that bullshit too. And then you meet new people, and they have this huge reservoir of bullshit behind them, and you realize you're on your own.