“Look, you fucking mongrel, I don’t care what the fuck you say, there is no fucking way I’m gonna let you have any of this fucking gay-ass tofu shit, you hear me!?” you shout from the kitchen stove, pointing your spatula at Beast Boy.
>The green changeling raises his hands up in outrage.
>“Like, dude! I already told you, though! I can’t eat meat!”
>You swivel in place to face that mother fucker, and growl at the child, throwing your chef’s hat down on the floor.
“WHAT THE FUCK DID I SAY, BITCH BOY!? WHAT THE FUCK DID I SAY ABOUT SAYING ‘DUDE’ LIKE THAT!? WHAT THE FUCK DID I SAY, YOU LITTLE GREEN SHIT!?”
>“Dude — uh, I mean, Anon! I’m, like, a vegetarian! I’ve been whatever stinkin’ animal you’re cooking!”
“Oh yeah? So?”
>“So I don’t wanna eat your stupid meat!”
“Boy, I’ll shove my log o’ meat down your stupid fucking gullet if you keep on acting like a little bitch-ass nigga!”
>Cyborg explodes into a fit of cackling on the couch.
>“Yo, Robin! Tell me you’re hearin’ this! He’s nuts!”
>“I hear it, Cyborg,” says Robin through gritted teeth, standing at the wall-mounted computer consoles, trying to focus. “I hear it a little too well, actually…”
“Ay, Robin!” you shout out to the caped shit-lad. “Robin, get the fuck away from those fuckin’ computers! We know you wanna jerk your derk to Slade, but for fuck’s sake, set up my Goddamn table first you slut-hole! We about to have some dinner and shit!”
>The Boy Wonder clenches his gloved fists.
>“Why couldn’t Bruce have just sent me Alfred instead?”
>“Uh, who send who?” asks Cyborg.
>Robin rolls his eyes.
>“No one,” he says, and strides over to set the table.
>“Oh! Should I invite friend Raven to join us as well?” asks Starfire, flying over to your side by the stove. You momentarily stop, staring straight into her green eyes, licking your lips.
>yfw.jpg
“YESSSSSSSSS.”
>She leaps happily in the air with glee.
