>>89207950Are you serious? Okay, let's pretend the spelling isn't fucking abysmal for a second and go straight onto grammar and sentence structure.
First of all, two exclamation marks does nothing for the sentence, we already can already infer the tone of voice from the visuals. It is not only a waste of space but also completely unnecessary.
Secondly, the use of English and the sentence structure are awful.
The first sentence, while having an awkward flow due to the comma, is for the most part okay. The words are a little dry in tone, but for the most part it's acceptable.
The second sentence, avoiding the obvious 12 year old spelling, is completely useless. We already know Star is jealous, why waste words telling us that? The whole advantage of a comic over written media is that it can communicate concepts visually, and focus on dialogue.
Finally the third sentence, from a grammatical standpoint it's rather botched, the word bad should be badly, but that's a minor gripe.
Mostly the word choice is bland, it's like they took the most cliche phrase they could find and said "Yup, that'll do."
tl;dr F- See me after class.
