Dont look at these outlier guys. think about some of those guys you met in school. Was there ever a guy at your school that caught your eye and you thought that he was pretty or handsome and you thought about him some when he wasn't even around? Maybe you tried to delude yourself that it wasn't because you're gay, but rather because you'd want to look or be like him maybe, but you might've had a repressed crush on that person. It's hard sometimes as a teenager because you feel as if people would hate you and think you're disgusting so it's easy to try to delude yourself that it doesn't mean anything.
