I have discovered the real cause behind permabegdom.
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/developmental-coordination-disorder-dyspraxia/

Dyspraxia is real, and if you have it, no matter how much you try , how much you practice, how many hours you invest, its futile.

I have finally discovered the reason why I am permabeg, it is not laziness (I have invested 10+ years, drawing weekends and holidays non stoo without results) it is not mediocrity, I have been diagnosed with this shit.

Over guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!