>>5779851Its terrible, being forced to reevaluate every single building block of something you value. Some things will do this throughout life, and the deeper they hit to your core, the more they upend.
It's hard to consider a positive to having to sort through every piece of rubble of the house you once lived in, in order to figure out what will hold its own as part of a new house. If that analogy makes sense.
The good news is you have a chance, albeit painfully and wrongly induced, at a wider perspective, good and bad. And some of your bigger building blocks are self evidently sorted for you. You know you care about art for instance, or this wouldn't affect you. You also know without a doubt that you care for other people, and for how they should be treated. And this, is beautiful, plain and simple. In your shoes, some will swear that off, forever dooming themselves to become an ugly facsimile of the offspring of the injustice. But that's not their truth any more than it is yours. The truth is in the sentiment which was injured in the first place.
The last building block I think I see, is that perception is always flawed. No matter how long or how well you think you know someone, you only ever really know them by what you can judge of their actions. Which makes things like judging anything based in identity- at best- a rigged game from the start. So it's only logical to forgive yourself that oversight, realizing that attaching anything to any identity, like your art, is nonsense. Only the hard truths of what you care about and what you do matter.
And to that, I hope you can get back to living your truths eventually. Don't fret about how long it takes either. No one else is in charge of sorting your pile of bricks, nor do they have to sleep under the roof they need to hold up. But keep at it and sort they will, anon.
