>>130124268I adore it. There are so many standout lines but the vast majority of them are Captain Hero ones.
>Like a tampon, once I'd had a taste of blood, I wanted more!>Hey kids! Captain Hero here with getting laid tip #213: The Backrub Buddy. Find a chick who's been dumped and comfort her by massaging her shoulders and soon... she'll be massaging your prostate!>This is the best picture of a prick I've had since I sold my Cal Ripken Jr. Rookie card!>Your ass is going back to Mexico! Auf Wiedersehen, Frenchie!>Xandir was acting awfully strange, Tim Tommerson was awfully quiet and I was getting fucked in the ass a lot more than usual...>Trust me, bro, when I pull out of a chick she never survives the thousand foot fall back to Earth.>I think it goes without saying I wasn't about to sling some yogurt on an unconscious woman's feet.>Ohhhhh, Xandir, you trick me like that again and I'll fucking kill you!>Who's job is it to save a superhero when he's in trouble? Batman? Oh, no! You get tipsy at ONE cocktail party and do ONE little impression of his parents being murdered and suddenly he won't return your phone calls!>Herbal? What do I look like to you? Some crazy wacko who will put anything inside his body? And then take pictures of it coming out? And post them on his website which gets over 10,000 hits a day? Most of them in Germany? Do I? DO I!? 
