>>101677528>something about writing style, do you think it was too much and didn't properly convey the perspective of the fly, was the story idea too cliche maybe?
It's empty as fuck, there's no characterization besides the fly being redundant as fuck, there's not a message, hence, it's pointless, there's not a character development since it's just random stuff and the pacing is crap since everything goes so fast, with that I don't mean that the word redundance makes it fast, but that the things that happen are fast and can't make a good story out of it. Edgy crap, but it was hilarious>>101677538>You think the writing process is about crossing out items of a list
Why not? It's more organized that way and it makes you commit less (if none) mistakes>This explains the stunted abortion about phillip the YOLO wannabe hunter
When did the character commits an abortion?>and your absolute lack of creativity.
Way more creative than a fly doing nothing more than eating and being reduntant>You're still in high school, aren't you?
Nah, college, but not American or European (((college)))>>101677555>Story about a man that learns about his mistakes the bad way, loses and arm, but manages to keep going and tries to have a better life from now on
Ugh, no!!! Terrible writing you're a hack 0/10!!!>Story about a fly spinning and eating
"wow, very enjoyable, and what an amazing execution!"
Fucking kek, I bet you're postmodernists>>101677608>Your guy is punished by stubborness, not overconfidence
Stubborness is the result of overconfidence, people tell them to not do certain stuff but they still insiste, how is that different?>and suffers no real consecuences from it>"Losing an arm is not a big deal"
Go and amputee it then>Appart from that, both the set up and execution are terrible.
Once again, you're talking about plot, execution would be dialogue, character exploration, pacing, subtlelty...