It was obvious this harassing e-mail’s author was none other than the demented smurfnapper who’d so recently sullied the nursery’s inner sanctum with his presence.
Along with that abominable fabrication were several more horrifying photographs of Pom-pom and Strawberry while they were his captives. Lastly, at the bottom was a shocking image of what I recognized as the baby smurf “Snickers”, or more accurately Snickers’ corpse. The ravaged smurfling’s nude body was suspended upside down from a string. A few inches further up the string was knotted around his well-chewed baby pacifier. The ill-fated baby smurf had been teething when he was abducted. When the police discovered his skeletal remains there had been a single, teensy baby-smurf tooth amongst the bones, dislodged from the skull. Snickers’ microscopic incisor had born a telling pattern of scratches on the enamel, the kind of marks a pair of needle nose pliers would make…
Beneath this photo was a taunting caption in the smurfnapper’s meandering scrawls
“Even during his final death throes the bashful little blue rodent was trying to cover his 'shame'. It was the funniest thing I've ever seen, HAHAHAHA!”