Hello, yes I would like to interest you in joining my empire. Members will receive a lifetime membership to access to many different luxuries. Spa, theater room, bar and lounge, half day weekends. You name it. I’ll show you how many different techniques on how to murder a foolish wandering samurai trying to find his way back to his own time. I pay $40 for capturing people. I pay extra for enslaving victims. You fail me. You die, no exceptions. Every member receives a life insurance for any fatalities or injuries received. Join now in the next hour and you receive an Aku t shirt, beer mug, microwave, TV and other accessories. So what are you waiting for join now (on hold music plays) while you let’s order a pizza and make it EXTRA THICC!