Recently I did five hours of neuropsych testing. The results were that my "visual-motor processing and processing speed" were in the "borderline range" basically meaning I'm mentally defective. Granted, I graduated high school, I passed every standardized test I ever took, even scored a 93 on my ASVAB when I thought I wanted to join the military (highest score is 100.) So why now in adulthood am I being basically told I'm a retard? For context, I was hungover the day of the test, and I've been abusing benadryl to get high. Over the past six months I've taken hundreds, maybe over 1000 tabs of benadryl. On top of that, I have horrendous depression and anxiety to the point its landed me in the psych ward seven times, I've burned myself countless times with matches, etc. But, the lady doing my testing said my results were because its the way my brain works, not because of my mental health. If I'm just mentally defective I kinda wanna kill myself. What do you think?