Guys, I've got it. I've got a way to solve global warming. So first why does global warming happen in the first place? *takes a a shot of whiskey* Because of emissions of CO2? Why CO2 though? Because CO2 interacts with infrared light in earth's thermal emission spectra. But why does this happen? Why does CO2 do this and not nitrogen or O2? Because those dangly oxygen atoms wobble about C at IR frequencies. Bear with me here, *takes another shot of whiskey.* So all we have to do is change the frequency at which CO2 vibrates, and we can do this by making oxygen heavier. So there you go, all we have to do to fight global warming is modify the isotopic composition of our atmosphere.