Many people are familiar with the theory of the expanding universe and how eventually a black hole will suck us in and there is no way to avoid our death.

I have a solution. My anus is expanding, right now i can fit criminals and wardrobe closets UP my chunky brown hole. ENVISION a LITERAL AssTeroid belt...with pieces of shit flying around. All the world problems can go UP my ass. African niggers? Shove em up there. Overpriced baguttes? UP UP AND AWAY. Feed the beast. Only by trusting me and my chunky brown hole do we have any hope of overcoming a black hole....and saving all life. Also what should be the title of this real life story/documentary?