How do you all get motivated to do anything?
I ask because I’m a 30-year-old high school drop-out with a decade-long gap of unemployment. I’ve never been to college. I’ve been officially diagnosed by a psychologist as having: major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and social anxiety disorder. I’ve been officially diagnosed by a psychiatrist as having attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Since the year 2013 I’ve already had seven psychotherapists, five psychiatrists, one psychologist... I’ve been prescribed and taken five antidepressants (Lexapro, Trazodone, Nefazodone, Remeron, Wellbutrin), one anti-anxiety agent (Klonopin), one antipsychotic (Abilify), and one psychostimulant (Adderall). Nothing is proving to be particularly effective at treating my depression and anxiety.
Nothing has proven to be effective at motivating me into doing anything. Although I’ve been fascinated by science since the second grade, I’ve been unable to motivate myself into pursuing a higher education. Unable to motivate myself into pursuing a career in science. Unable to motivate myself into seeking any employment whatsoever.
For years I have looked (with envy) at all of these threads on /sci/ with people discussing their majors, their careers... discussing topics that go way over my head. And I just keep on wondering to myself, “how? How do they manage to keep on going? How do they do it? What motivates them?”
What is motivating all of you to pursue higher education, to pursue careers in science, to do anything with your lives whatsoever?