>>3772096I think I understand. All I can say is that you should look at this endeavor more rationally & objectively, rather than emotionally.
You - as an artist - are a business, through and through. You are a 1-person business, and art is not that much different from any other business. Freelance illustration, freelance photography, freelance editing, writing, design, film, consulting, dog walking - whatever. It's all the same. You:
1. Develop your product / service (hopefully based on what people need)
2. Find customers & others who can use what you've got and market yourself to them.
It sounds like you're still on step 1 - and that's okay. Don't be so hard on yourself. It takes time, and there should be no rush. It is NOT a race.
Another thing to keep in mind is that all these 'good artists' that you keep mentioning might be just as in the gutter as you are. Again - just because they're good, doesn't mean they're successful. They might be very talented, but incapable of landing jobs. They might be landing a few jobs, but not enough to be making a living off it. They might still have a day job, or be working jobs they don't enjoy just to pay the bills. You never see or hear them talk about any of this, because it's not apart of their branding. You'll never see the things that get them down, or their failures, or their bad pieces that they gave up on.
This is reminiscent of the wider negative impact of social media. There's this idea that folks only share the highlights of their lives, and it makes them seem like their lives are full of happiness, fulfillment and satisfaction. You should not compare your life to someone else's condensed highlight reel. There will always be artists better than you in one way or another - this does not mean that you should give up.
