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Since before the internet, where your only resources were the sparse books you would find here and there, I always felt that there was something missing in my brain, I just did not get it (whatever it was). Fast forward I found Vilppu's work and it was a game changer, he opened my mind and showed a lot of new things that I actually manage to get better (a little), but with this new knowledge many other problems aroused to the point that, like OP says, I think I reach my ceiling. I have countless materials, always looking for that one that will give me a breaktrought and put me in the right path but each and everyone of them are the same, they all teach the same things, in the same away. So, if countless artists all teach the same thing, the same way with very little difference between them and I still don't get it, then problem is either me or they are holding some secrets. I just don't get stuff.