I took some commissions, got paid decently, but then my life turned into a huge mess, a lot of bad shit happened and I lost track of time, stopped drawing for almost 1,5 years. During that period I didn't realize that It's only getting worse, instead I thought I can fix stuff fast and get back quickly, so I went off the radar for a while, hoping one day soon I'll just pop up and be like "sorry, i was super duper busy, here's your amazing pics".
Apparently, I didn't notice that "a while" lasted for an eternity, and I didn't talk to people or been active on social media, and now I'm terrified thinking that I let so many people down. What do they think, what will they say, what should I do, what if I already destroyed my reputation, what did they tell their friends, will they understand, etc etc, thoughts like that are haunting me every second of my life, creating some sort of a psychological barrier while I'm trying to get back to drawing.
On a bright side, I think I somehow got better at art during that time, just by observing/reading stuff, so I hope when I'm finally done with the commissions, I'll also be able to draw some nice portraits gifts or sketches for my customers and they'll be like "well at least we got something out of it, let's not be hard on that dude".
but there's still a chance ill end up dying in a dumpster soon tho, so i dunno
