>>102426728The movie is about his whole world crashing down on him and having to find a new lease on life, while reconfiguring his value ladder from the ground up. He learns to accept failure and in the end chooses to leave his old existence behind him and dedicate his work to selfless, thankless service in protecting the humanity from the shadows.
Meanwhile Tony comes back from Afghanistan to use his wealth more responsibly in the service of good and becomes progressively more and more enthralled by his guilt complex.
I would argue that Strange has "lost" more and had to undergo a more severe transformational process right away. Keep in mind also that the core lesson he had to learn was "It's not about you.", while Tony is still a massive egotist. The events of Age of Ultron and Civil War are directly driven by Tony's personal overbearing responsibility and guilt. That's not a knock on the character by the way, it's exactly what makes him interesting.
Neither does that make him an inherently worse person. It's a contrast I found interesting in their interactions in IW, where we had Tony trying to work his way around the situation, trying to come up with an ideal solution to save and protect everyone, while Stephen was seeing the problem in a broader perspective and understood the sacrifices they'd need to make to stop Thanos (first his blunt honesty in his statement that he'd leave Tony and Peter to die, if it meant that he'd protect the stone and then giving it up to save Tony's life as a part of the keikaku).
