>>3018116I probably don't have a great answer for you. Perhaps obviously, finding this arousing conflicts with your conception of your own identity at some level. Maybe it's because religion told you repeatedly it's disgusting or sinful. Maybe it's because your idea of people who are into this is in opposition to how you see yourself (for example, you think it's feminine or submissive to like x, y, or z while you strive to be masculine and dominant). It's not easy but I think the only solution is to practice really serious introspection and continually question your beliefs. If you do that enough and honestly, I think you'll find one or both of these things to be true (I think they're both true, just saying that they not necessarily both apply to your for this specific situation):
1. Your beliefs were influenced, if not created by a culture or authority that does not reflect any objective truth. This is not a sign of weakness or stupidity to admit this - we're all products of our environment. But as we age we need to apply critical thinking skills and keep what serves us and discard what doesn't
2. Your conception of an identity is too narrow. This is also normal, but unfortunately harmful. In order to organize our worldview and help with decision-making, humans tend to be unconsciously black-and-white. We label something because of evidence we see in one context, and then assume that label applies to all contexts. For example, if we think of someone as straight-laced at work, we tend to assume they are the same way at home when that's not necessarily true. We do this with ourselves as well: we think of ourselves as masculine/feminine, dominant/submissive, risky/conservative, whatever, which then can conflict with our desires in other areas. These are just labels though.
This is probably a real long and dumb answer for a site that is at minimum 60% shitposts and horny pictures, but I've answered as helpfully and honestly as I can. I hope it works for you.
