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As yet another enjoying bottom, I have to second that cum inside your ass is not painful in the slightest, in fact unless your partner can shoot it with the pressure of a fireman hose and the warmth of chicken soup, you will probably not feel a thing. You may feel the ass slighty slippery hours after if you got a good dose in, but frankly it´s not dirty, it can be evacuated normally and/or cleaned with soft paper, in fact most of the time the lube will make a bigger mess. Also, some of us like the sensation of having the seed of your lover inside (yeah, get squicked yo silly boys)
In regard to yaoi, I guess that is as previously said, 90% of yaoi is by women who actually think that ass has a hymen and blood is a signal you lost your virginity. I mean, duh.
The other is some sort of fetish about making it as similar as women, specially with the boypussy trend and such.
And finally, there is some sense of claiming, of leaving a mark. Oh, and they appear to have so much of a hard on about the words "no" and "stop" like all the sex should be rape-ish. So I think "don´t cum inside" me is almost always previously followed by "no, don´t touch me" "no, don´t look inside my ass", "no it hurts!" and so on, see a trend? =P
