How the fuck do I math like I'm not talking about real world math except maybe super weird physics and proofs n shit. I keep trying to get into pure math and I just wanna be like hold up what the fuck are you talking about what is this even in reference to, and where are we going with this shit.

I guess I have like no coordinates. Take a matrix for example. That's a concept but also very basic and useful. Then we get to shit like fukn rings n groups n sets and to some extent I'm like ok this is really simple like holy shit a group of things... but then I'm wondering what the fuck we're even talking about and when I'm going to start learning the real concept... or wait is this the real concept? I don't even know what I'm talking about.

The most 'real math' I've ever done is proofs in geometry 1 but I loved it, the only piss easy thing I've ever enjoyed for its own sake in fact. And when I was really young I would daydream about math like a little faggot but it turns out I was thinking the same shit as some founders of math n shit. I really think I could do some shit but I came from a bad place and no higher education... I wish I could've just breezed into being a mathematician without overthinking it.