Every once in a while I freak out by the fact that we are alive. We are and there is rather than not. So fucking strange.

I get very anxious. This is an understatement, I don’t ever get nearly as anxious in my everyday life, I'm a yolo kinda guy. But the thing is, this intense anxiety only last for a couple of seconds then I go back to my normal life. So fucking strange.

I even reflect on the fact that a few seconds ago I was so fucking afraid, I remember the thoughts but the fear is gone. So fucking strange.

This cycle can happen several times a week and the older I get, the more frequent it is.
As if my subconscious is nagging me about our imminent return to the void. I'll be 30 in 1 year. That’s fucking old, Im ready to die.

But until I do, which branches of /sci/ should I study to get some fucking answers?

I don’t really care about the HOW? I wanna know the WHY!