>was too stupid (picrel) to succeed in high school
>graduated but at the cost of getting slapped with prozac and lorazepam
>grades too low to get into any uni straight out of high school, had to go to community college first
2017-2019
>do a diploma in "biotechnology" 'cause that sounds cool
>was really just high school review with some first-year college chemistry/biology material
>leave community college with a 3.1 gpa, letting me transfer into a no-name university
>do mandatory placement for diploma under a prof at uoft before i transfer
>expected to do cool shit 'cause wow, i'm at such a cool place!
>instead get stuck diddling around with an arduino so i can make an instrument
>couldn't even do that competently, disappointing everybody who said i had 'researcher potential'
>i showed up often enough to pass the placement and thus the diploma
2019-now
>transfer into university for chem and forensics
>expecting to put in the work but hopefully get onto a research track
>reality hits
>i am supposed to graduate by 2022, yet my gpa is about a 75%
>i literally have no relevant work/volunteering experience
>can't do research, not even washing-the-glassware-tier shit, because my gpa is shit
>even if i could do research here, it'd be useless
>nobody here does anything i think is cool (read: non-synthesis, non-environmental) and relevant to what i wanted to do (anything anal chem)
>we have no connections to any larger schools or industry besides whichever profs couldn't hack it in either

what the fuck do i do now besides commit suicide? (that's off the table, i have to take care of my parents and sisters)

i sincerely doubt any professor in this shithole, let alone any school in the world, worth their salt would take on somebody like me so late into their degree.

i'm not so arrogant that i think i'm better than QA/QC grunt work, but i don't wanna do that for the rest of my life. not like there are even many openings for that up here in canada.