From the Wallerawang bi-daily chronicle:
A local scientist, Elmer Fuddberger, Ret., has proved decisively that the mathematical constant known as ? does not actually exist. This has caused an uproar in scientific circles.
As a background, the constant ? has traditionally been used since ancient times to calculate the ratio between the circumference and the diameter of circles. The new revelation that ? does not actually exist has caused quite a stir in the local area. We talked to the CEO of the local table manufacturing company, Moss Furniture.
CEO: "We are excited about the prospects of this development. The government has now lifted their original requirement that there needs to be a certain ratio between the circumference and the diameter of every table that we manufacture. Now given the extraordinary research efforts of Professor Fuddberger, we can advertise tables that are six feet in diameter and have enough space to accommodate a seating of at least 50 people. It is perfect for traditional style Chinese restaurants and we are in frenzy to process all the orders that we are receiving in view of this discovery."
We may add as a side note that the constant ? has traditionally been involved in the computations of the so-called Bell curve, on which psychologists base their estimations of IQ measurements. The elimination of ? from future mathematics leads to an astonishing increase in the average IQ of the population of the greater Wallerawang area, where from now on most of the population will be entitled to an IQ score of at least 300.
A local scientist, Elmer Fuddberger, Ret., has proved decisively that the mathematical constant known as ? does not actually exist. This has caused an uproar in scientific circles.
As a background, the constant ? has traditionally been used since ancient times to calculate the ratio between the circumference and the diameter of circles. The new revelation that ? does not actually exist has caused quite a stir in the local area. We talked to the CEO of the local table manufacturing company, Moss Furniture.
CEO: "We are excited about the prospects of this development. The government has now lifted their original requirement that there needs to be a certain ratio between the circumference and the diameter of every table that we manufacture. Now given the extraordinary research efforts of Professor Fuddberger, we can advertise tables that are six feet in diameter and have enough space to accommodate a seating of at least 50 people. It is perfect for traditional style Chinese restaurants and we are in frenzy to process all the orders that we are receiving in view of this discovery."
We may add as a side note that the constant ? has traditionally been involved in the computations of the so-called Bell curve, on which psychologists base their estimations of IQ measurements. The elimination of ? from future mathematics leads to an astonishing increase in the average IQ of the population of the greater Wallerawang area, where from now on most of the population will be entitled to an IQ score of at least 300.
