Here is the cycle that im wondering if you science people might help my ubderstand and then break.

1. I get horny
2. I download a LOT of fetish based weird porn.
3. I spend an hour or more masturbating
4. I orgasm and immediately feel disgusted with myself and the porn viewing and my habits, and I delete all my porn and vow never again.
5. After a couple days or a couple hours even (time frame varies) i get horny again, I say fuck, I wish I hadn't deleted all that stuff. And then 2- 5 repeat.

Im wondering what is it with my brain chemistry or behavior that keeps me coming back to download lots of porn and waste sometimes many hours a day when I know, even in the moment, that im going to regret wasting so much time and download tons of porn.

Thanks in advance sci frens

Pic is completely unrelated. Some silver coins