I assure you, sir, or perhaps madam, I am not. But I do possess a hat quite similar to the pictured feline. The cap itself is a fiery orange. Around the central cap are strung a series of nine, yes NINE, spheres of varying sizes to represent the nine celestial bodies in our solar system.

Just the other day I wore this cap as I sauntered ever so insouciantly into my local café. I strolled through the door, perhaps with the barest suggestion of a swagger. I went to a nearby table and with a flourish I spun the chair around and straddled it like a stool, rested my arms on the back of the chair and aimed a pair of friendly finger guns at the waitress.

“Um, c-can I get you anything sir?” the waitress asked.

“Sure you can darling.” Have I mentioned that I am not a cat? Perhaps I have. But I could have fooled that waitress as I flashed her my finest Cheshire grin. I made the motion to flick my hair but instead jangled the NINE spheres in a flurry of collisions.

“I want some bubbly water with a slice of lemon,” I said.

“That’s all?” asked the waitress.

I nodded and the spherical doodads around my head tinkled like fairy bells. The waitress left to get my order and I noticed that my presence was already having the desired effect on the other patrons.

Every. Single. Astronomer. In. The. Room. Was. Staring.

At me.