I'm one lazy piece of shit, and I've gotten lazier and lazier each year, to the point that I can barely beat the deadlines. My attention span is completely and irremediably fucked up, and I'm distracted all the time, resulting in half-assed assignments.

However, when the deadline comes dangerously close, I, like many other people, almost become another person, and all my attention is focused on the task. I surprise myself on how quickly I understand everything and how clear I see things compared to my previous self, as if he was a retard in comparison.

Is there something legit wrong with my brain? I honestly feel much smarter and functional, just because of the panic induced rush. Sometimes I even stayed awake all night and yet I managed to deliver a far more coherent assignment compared to the ones I did while being a lazy retard.

Is this how it feels like to take adderall or other productivity drugs? What are some alternatives and how could I fix myself?