I was sitting in my BIO class when my professor walked up with a smug look on his face and said "evolution happened." Many of my fellow classmates, clearly deceived, stood up and began to cheer. The professor, once the cheers died down, smirked and turned to his whiteboard. Then, he wrote "evolution happened" on the board, faced the audience, and exclaimed once more: "EVOLUTION HAPPENED." Students roared in approval and adoration as the previously silent ones snuck out. I silently sat back and waited for them to finish. Then, I stood up. The professor asked me to sit down and listen, but I refused. "Tell me, professor", I said. "If you are so sure evolution happened, explain monkeys." The professor was taken aback. Clearly he did not expect me to respond so boldly. He stammered, "m-monkeys?" I responded, "yes. If we evolved from monkeys, why are there still monkeys?" In shock and embarrassment, he dropped his marker to the floor. Before he let out another word, I pressed, holding up a picture of a fish. I faced the audience and said "Am I a fish?" Their jaws dropped to the floor. "No. I am not a fish. Yet you claim I am one."
The professor stopped talking, as though he were struck dumb. Suddenly, claps erupted from the audience. The professor excused himself and I proceeded to lecture to the class about real science. At the end of the period, a group of girls approached me and I got to take pictures with every one of them. One even gave me her snapchat. Since then, the university offered me a job for $200,000 salary (yes, starting). I did turn it down, however, because it was a brainlet job.