When did you realized you not gonna make it in science?

Trades* sucks but it seems inevitable. I always admired educated people and always a dreamed to be an engineer or lawyer, doctor etc. The profession itself doesn't even matter it's the power and meaning associated with it. But I never had the aptitude, intelligence, or work ethic to become one. At the same time as you admire one you can't see the other end without contempt. Engineers are cool and carpenters are schmucks. It's just natural.

I reached an impasse. It doesn't have to be black and white but it is. At least for me. That's how I become even worse, a wagecuck and neet. Never broke the cycle, and my ego or x(dunno how to call it just the way I think doesn't allow me to work in trades). This would mean signing the defeat papers and I just can't do it. So I dreamed that one day Il'l figure it out and become someone until I reached middle age ad middle age crisis. And I can't stop dreaming. But it's too late.

*as in broader term just above lower class but below middle.