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OP I mean this in complete sincerity. If you feel your life is at a complete deadend, with nothing left to live for, do NOT kill yourself. That's for weaklings. The best think you can do is see a therapist, and tell them you want to transition genders. Blame all your life's problems on gender dysphoria. They'll eat it up, and prescribe you estradiol. It doesn't matter how old you are. It is never too late to transition.
The benefits to this are numerous. Think about it. All those based opinions you have? You get to say them without any recourse. You get any job you want. Any number of infinite doors open for you. You'll probably even have more sex, and with hot girls who fetishize trannies. All you have to do is identify as a lesbian.
Next you should join some all women's sports and crush them. Do this at any and all womens spaces. Show them you're a real girl.
If, after ruining women's lives, smashing hot pussy, getting any job you want, and saying whatever you want without recourse, you find yourself still unfilled... Then you can commit suicide.
If everything works out, you made it. If nothing works out, then you drive the trans suicide statistics up. Being trans is incredibly based.
