/sci/, I'm bipolar and addicted to hypomania. If I don't get my fix soon I may literally fucking kill myself

So far I've tried therapy, exercise, increasing my medication, decreasing my medication, screwing up my sleep schedule, drinking loads of caffine, spending time outside in the sun, getting artificial sunlight from sun lamps, adderal, cryotherapy, trying to socially reverse-engineer my highschool mindset before I crashed, and of course attempting to live without it. Every one of those things failed, and most of them backfired horribly. I've left harder drugs off the table primarily because if they backfire like everything else it will permanently fuck up my life, but I'm out of options and I don't know what to do

please for the love of god someone show me how to get relief