>"Thank you, thank you. These brave souls have been chosen to take part in the most ambitious project of Operation Mars 2!"
>"You in the audience just get to watch."
<"You should have tried harder."
>"These men will be the first to land on Mars and begin to build a functional city, preparing it for our giant... factory... terraforming... Thing..."
<"The World engine?"
>"These brave vanguards will prepare and monitor different areas of Mars for the colonization effort."
>Cue a small spaceplane barreling down onto Boca Chica’s runway at suicidal speeds
"Move it! move it! Vanguard coming through! Get outta the way! Nnngg!"
>"Here we have the brave vanguard that will pioneer the red planet"
>A figure runs over to the starship stage, climbing up onto the stage
"WAIT!"
<"That voice..."
>"No! It can't be... Anon..."
"Sorry I'm late to the rocket my Elon, I seemed to forgot my boarding schedule, you're lucky I landed at all."
>"You weren't invited at all."
<"Weren't you banished to McWagecucks? Shouldn't you be frying something?"
"Oh, I quit that when I found out about this."
>"You quit being banished? Besides, the assigning is over, Anon"
"But you can't have a colony project without me, I was there during Operation Mars 1, remember?"
>"Oh yes, all too well..."
>Mexican welders run in terror as a scrapmetal nuclear rocket explodes and destroys half of boca chica
"I removed the radiation..."
<"You made it worse..."
"Worse? Or better?"
>"Ugghh..."
"My Elon, a chance to prove myself a capable Vanguard is all I ask, gimmie!"
<"Hold on."
<"We see you are truly deserving of pioneering spaceflight..."
"Yes, yes I am."
<"You will be sent on the first extrasolar colony! to a planet noone has ever heard of, and those who did, dare not speak of it."
"what's it called?"
>"We dare not say."
>"Where is it?"
>"It's... ummm... here!" Elon points to an unmapped orange star
"A secret mission..."
>"Happy now?"
"Yess..."
>"Soon, all planets in the universe will serve the Martian Empire!"
